Smile for the Camera
by iPandaz
Summary: Gibbs’ memories, a few snapshots into his life, life at NCIS and everything in between. KIBBS, eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**Smile for the Camera**

Disclaimer: Nope not mine, not a one. =(

Rating: T

Spoilers: None

Summary: Gibbs' memories, a few snapshots into his life, life at NCIS and everything in between. KIBBS, eventually.

Author's Note: I've been swamped with work lately so really haven't written anything, haven't had the energy to write. But then I found the start of this as I was cleaning out my laptop and completely got into it again. Not really case centric, more people centric but the odd case or two will be mentioned to help the plot along. This will be multichap, some will be longer than others and the timeline will have gaps but I hope you stick with me through it. Hope you enjoy it!

Unbeta'd so please forgive me for any errors.

P.S. I promise promise I will update _No Ordinary Thing_ by the summer. I know that yonkers away, but we all need goals, right?

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1.

Kate Todd never seemed as unattainable as she had then, sitting with Abby down in the lab and blushingly repeating details of the proposal. Every time her hand caught the light, I could see it, glimmering and shining. A sign that she belonged to someone else.

I stood still for a moment, speechless, my insides twisting and turning, coming to the realisation that I was too late. Too late to tell her that she meant more to me than just an agent, that her naïve, child-like perception of the world kept me sane and gave me hope. That I hadn't felt so much for a woman in years, longer than I can remember.

I never thought much of her relationship with the man she is now destined to marry. I passed him off as just another one of those men that wandered in and out of her life. They never stayed long, ours is a profession that requires more effort and more time, most of them couldn't handle coming second to her job. But not this one, apparently.

She stopped talking when she noticed me. The sparkle of her eyes dimming as her lashes lowered.

Abby filled in the silence, excitedly telling me of Kate's engagement and upcoming marriage. I tried to be polite, I tried to look sincere as I congratulated her. But the words stuck in my throat. I was lying and she knew it.

She was transferred to another team a few weeks ago, the director said that it was because Agent Greer's team needed more experienced team members. Even though I am glad that the constant reminder of her unavailability is gone, I can't help but miss the interaction we had, but I guess that was gone long before she left. I still miss the way I towered over her. The way she didn't back away and the way her eyes glimmered with a silent challenge. I miss that Katie Todd.

So I hide myself away, more so than I had done in the past. I pretend that it doesn't bother me, that it doesn't matter that she's marrying someone else. Here, I can do that. My boat is a refuge for me, but there are a lot of people who don't understand why I can't just go out and buy the damn thing. Well, for one, I can't afford to buy a boat. The disadvantage of having three ex-wives is that after paying off the alimonies, there really isn't much left over.

So I build my boat. It takes my mind off things I'd rather not think about, it's my therapy, my little slice of the world that nothing can penetrate. That's where I am today, on the eve of her wedding. A glass of bourbon is by my side and the sander in my hands. But tonight, it isn't working. I guess my head is too full of _her_. Knowing that tomorrow, she'll be walking down the aisle to marry someone else is a thought that tears at my flesh and claws at my bones. I can't stop imagining it. Kate in a beautiful white dress. Her hair is up, her lips are painted. She is smiling as she walks away.

Her image fades and the rest of the night and the following day passes in a haze.


	2. Chapter 2

**Smile for the Camera**

Disclaimer: Nope not mine, not a one. =(

Rating: T

Spoilers: None

Summary: Gibbs' memories, a few snapshots into his life, life at NCIS and everything in between. KIBBS, eventually.

Author's Note: My second offering. As always unbeta'd so I apologise for any mistakes.

* * *

2.

The next thing I remember is Abby's heavy goth boots clunking heavily against the wooden steps leading to my basement. I feel her reproach before she voices it and mentally steel myself for the intrusion into my silent world.

"Where have you been?" The gravely sound of her voice makes my head pound even more.

I swallow thickly before I reply. "Right here Abbs, right here." I can't keep my words from slurring.

She comes to a stop in front of me and stoops so we're eye to eye. I see concern and I see worry. But no anger, as I had expected. But then Abby and I have known each other for years and she is one of my closest friends. She probably knows more than she's letting on right now, even if I take care not to show my emotions around the team.

"We missed you, Gibbs."

I snort. "Really?"

"Yes, really. We were really worried." The sincerity in her words stalls me for a moment.

"Well I'm sorry for spoiling the day for you all." I can't help it. It just comes out of my mouth. I know I'm being mean, I know she doesn't deserve it. But I can't help it.

She seems exasperated, she doesn't know what to do with me. Usually she'd give me one of her biggest hugs and her most caring, sympathetic smiles and that would be sufficient (in her mind). But not today, so she kneels awkwardly on the cold cement floor, looking at me with this lost sort of look on her face.

"It doesn't bother me." I hear myself say.

She nods and tries to smile. "I know."

She doesn't believe me.


	3. Chapter 3

Smile for the Camera

Disclaimer: Nope not mine, not a one. =(

Rating: T

Spoilers: None

Summary: Gibbs' memories, a few snapshots into his life, life at NCIS and everything in between. KIBBS, eventually.

Author's Note: As always your feedback is much loved. Unbeta'd so I apologise for any mistakes.

* * *

3.

I was almost glad when Kate got put onto another team that needed the experience and expertise that she has as a profiler. Things have been unsettled ever since her wedding, I know that it's probably my fault, but with this change the situation has slowly been improving. There's a new addition to the team in the form of one Officer Ziva David. She's a mossad agent sent to liaise with NCIS and it's clear that Tony resents her being there. He didn't take kindly to losing his partner and is consequently making life as difficult as possible for Officer David. McGee has no such qualms and is pleasant enough, but Abby needs more time to adjust.

Ziva is intriguing, I'll give you that, but she's not Kate. In fact, I could not imagine two more different people. There is a harshness about Ziva that distracts you from her softer side, which contrary to popular belief _does_ actually exist. She's brash and hot-headed. She gives Tony a good run for his money, a good thing I suppose. She's a killer, carries more weapons on her person than I have locked in my weapons drawer but she's not unwilling to learn.

Personally, I have nothing against her. She'll be a good agent but I can't help but test her every now and again, to keep her on her toes and make her think that she's at fault. It'll make her better, I do the same with all my agents. I push and they show me the results. That's what makes the team strong, what makes us all work.

This is a milestone because it's the first case we've had where it _feels_ like we're a team. Tony's become more accepting towards Ziva and things are running smoothly again.

It's helped to take my mind off her. Kate. She's just across the other side of the bullpen and sometimes if I listen hard enough, I can hear her talk and laugh with her new team.


	4. Chapter 4

**Smile for the Camera**

Disclaimer: Nope not mine, not a one. =(

Rating: T

Spoilers: None

Summary: Gibbs' memories, a few snapshots into his life, life at NCIS and everything in between. KIBBS, eventually.

Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews and your support, it's really good to hear! This is a short offering, I promise to update when I get back from camping.

* * *

4.

I rarely see her these days, since she got put on desk duty. She's pregnant. Four months along and no, I haven't been keeping track.

I saw her in the elevator for the first time in weeks yesterday. It's such a small building that it's a wonder I hadn't bumped into her sooner. I guess I'm just really good at avoiding things that I don't want to deal with.

She looked stunning and as much as I tried, I couldn't look away. She glowed with happiness, her cheeks were rounder and her hair darker, longer and curlier. Her hand rested on the little bump and she was busy talking to another female agent I recognised from her team.

A strange feeling swelled in my chest. It was not wholly unpleasant until I remembered that she was carrying another man's child. Then it was tinged with regret and the familiar sinking feeling whenever I think of her and consequentially her new husband. The ring on her finger sparkled up at me.

She looked at me just before she got off the elevator. Our eyes met. She smiled. I drowned. She has never asked why I wasn't at her wedding, not that I would have told her. But she never voiced her curiosity. It's a good thing I suppose because I had never intended to tell her my feelings for her until I was sure that she felt the same. Now I will never tell her at all. Anyway, she's better off not knowing, I don't need her pity.

So I shook myself from my reverie and exited the elevator, barking orders before I fully reached our area of the bullpen but knowing that my team will be on their tasks before I had finish speaking. It's nice to know that some things don't change.


	5. Chapter 5

**Smile for the Camera**

Disclaimer: Nope not mine, not a one. =(

Rating: T

Spoilers: None

Summary: Gibbs' memories, a few snapshots into his life, life at NCIS and everything in between. KIBBS, eventually.

Author's Note: A jump in time… Thank you all again for your wonderful comments. Things are going to get a little trickier, I've got a few things to figure out in terms of where this story goes… And I'm also quite tempted by the prompts at the Thing-a-Thon VIII over at LJ… So apologies if the next chapter takes a while to appear.

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5.

It's late in the afternoon and the bullpen is buzzing lazily in the haze of Friday. We've just wrapped up our last case and all that is left is the paperwork. I don't want to admit it, but there's a little sadness around our little area. The team are more subdued and quiet, there is no bickering to be heard from DiNozzo and Ziva's side and McGee is working more silently than ever.

Today's the last day we spent as a team. Tony got promoted a few weeks ago after the director's recent efforts to get him his own team. I was proud, very proud. As proud as I would have been if it were my own son. But I didn't cut him any slack, as he had obviously expected and everything's been as normal as can be expected under the circumstances.

But not today. Finally, it's hit us. We're getting split in half. Tony's taking McGee with him, Ziva and I are left to contend with two newcomers. I have no doubt that Tony and McGee will succeed, they'll make a solid base for the new team and they'll prove that this is best move that the director has made in a long time.

I'm so caught up in my own thoughts that I fail to notice the appearance of another figure. I've often wondered what Kate did with her daughter when she was at work. Her husband works in the city, trading or stocks or something, so he can't be much help. (I hope)

This is the first time I've seen her up close. Elizabeth they've called her. Elizabeth Anna Mullhern. The last time I saw her she was still a baby, cradled in her mother's arms. Even from a distance I could see that she had inherited her mother's eyes.

Those eyes peer at me now over the edge of the table. She can barely reach, her little chubby hands grasping onto the wood, pulling herself up as far as she can so she can see over the top. She doesn't seem daunted by the blank expression on my face and in fact takes it as encouragement because she's now making her way around her obstacle and heading straight into my territory. She pops a thumb into her mouth and reaches the other hand out to touch the chair I am sitting on.

She's the spitting image of Kate, I realise. Same brown hair, same eyes, same serious looking mouth. She quickly loses interest in me and instead turns towards the bookcase behind me. I leave her to her own devices. Until I start hearing swish-thud, swish-thud.

Mildly amused, I watch as she pulls books off the shelves one by one, she's methodical I'll give her that. In no time the shelf she's working on is empty and just as she's about to turn her attention to the one above it she is distracted by the sound of her own name.

A harassed and tired looking Kate appears around the corner, relieved at having found her wayward daughter but embarrassed at the mayhem said daughter has been causing at my desk. I wave off her apologies and help her to replace all the books.

"Never say you're sorry-"

"I know," she cuts across, "it's a sign of weakness."

She flashes me her trademark cheeky Kate grin, one that I decide I haven't seen in far too long, before taking her daughter's hand. I allow myself to smile back in return as she vanishes around the corner.

For the first time today, things feel okay.


	6. Chapter 6

Smile for the Camera

Disclaimer: Nope not mine, not a one. =(

Rating: T

Spoilers: None

Summary: Gibbs' memories, a few snapshots into his life, life at NCIS and everything in between. KIBBS, eventually.

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, I was majorly stuck on the way this chapter was going, and I'm still not totally happy about it but it was holding everything back so I thought I'd just get it out so I can focus on the rest of the story. So sorry for the randomness of this chapter, it's become a bit of a filler until the next one is done so please bear with me!

* * *

6.

It's been a long month since the newbies arrived and they were, are, every bit as frustrating as I had anticipated. Now I'm pretty much set in my ways and inexperienced as they are, they simply didn't match up to the standards I expect of them. They're improving though and for that I am eternally grateful. (I think the coffee shop owner would disagree though, as my coffee runs will probably decrease in frequency for that same reason.)

Tony and McGee seem to be doing well and, while we were out for our customary Friday night drink (schedule permitting, of course) it was nice to hear what they had to say about the new arrangement. Less than thrilled with their pick of new agents, Tony complained long and loud for a good hour before Abby head slapped him and told him to go get another round of drinks.

I feel content, I realise, looking around at the old team. They've all grown up in their own ways. Sure things are going to be difficult to deal with for a while, but isn't that all part of the process? For all of my hassling, DiNozzo and McGee have proved themselves to be more than ready for their new positions as leader and senior field agent. Their latest case was wrapped up with satisfaction despite initial setbacks.

Reflecting back on this, DiNozzo had said, "See boss, once we got into the swing of things it wasn't so hard. I mean like in-"

"If this is another movie quote…" McGee butted in, clearly having suffered through an unreasonable amount of Tony's favourite topic in recent weeks.

"Shut it Probilicious, I'm broadening your horizons. You know he doesn't watch T.V, right? You need to know about the old classics, it's an essential part of life!"

To this, the younger man simply rolled his eyes and muttered, "So you keep saying."

"Suck it up, Elflord. You know you-"

"Enough!" Abby stood and stomped her black boot clad foot. "No wonder you didn't get any work done to start with, you two won't stop arguing! Now one of you go and get me a drink."

McGee docilely complied with her order, but not before shooting a disgruntled look towards his new boss.

"So you heard from Kate lately?"

Abby looked up sharply. Her eyes darted to me for a second before settling on Tony. "Sure I have. Don't you guys keep in touch?"

He shrugged his shoulders and scratched his chin. "Yeh, but she's been kind of off with me lately."

Arching an eyebrow, the Goth shot back with a grin tugging at her black painted lips, "What did you do?"

"Nothing! As far as I know…" He looked every bit as innocent as he sounded. But Abby and I share a knowing smile when he's distracted by some blonde that's just walked by.

I guess that there are some things about Tony that will never, ever change.


	7. Chapter 7

Smile for the Camera

Disclaimer: Nope not mine, not a one. =(

Rating: T

Spoilers: None

Summary: Gibbs' memories, a few snapshots into his life, life at NCIS and everything in between. KIBBS, eventually.

Author's Note: It's been forever, and I've just discovered a few written chapters on my laptop that I've forgotten about. I might try and do some writing in the near future, but real life has truly caught up now. We'll see. Thank you all again for your amazing support, and thank you for continuing to read!

* * *

7.

It's the toughest case we've had since getting the new team and its getting to all of us. Cases involving kids always hit hard and even I haven't had one this bad in a long, long time. All available agents have been roped in and the bullpen is buzzing with activity. Abby is so swamped that we've had to draft in more lab techs to help. She's not thrilled but it means that more can be done and faster. And anyway, an extra pair of eyes on what little evidence we've got never hurt anyone.

They've got Kate on this one too, profiling the suspect and running between teams to gather as much information as possible. I can see the effect it's having on her. The dark circles under her eyes, smudged make-up and her posture. I think she feels particularly strongly about this case because she's had her own child, and like all the other agents in the same position, is working furiously in order to get closer to an arrest.

When I go to see Abby, she's sitting dejectedly at her desk. The customary heavy metal is blaring out of her speakers and she's resting her head on her hands. She's happy to see me, apparently, because as soon as she notices I'm there she wraps me in a hug so tight that I can feel my ribs protesting. But I don't voice it and instead hug her back. I know she needs this, a little bit of human contact because the case is getting a bit too much.

"You got anything new, Abbs?" I ask hesitantly, unsure if this is the right thing to say.

She shakes her head against my shoulder. "No. I've test and retested everything. I'm drawing blanks Gibbs, this never happens to me!"

I draw back, giving her a little smile and reassuring her that we'll get something soon. I'm not pushing her today like I did yesterday because I know she hasn't had more than a couple of hours sleep the past couple of days and she's getting tired.

I leave my offering of Caf-Pow! and head back upstairs, hoping like hell that someone up there has something we can go on.


End file.
